Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Acorn Ponders Name Change-10 Suggestions

(This article originally appeared at The American Thinker on 12/01/2009.)
Jake Sherman at Politico reveals the discovery of an ACORN document suggesting that the group is considered an image-makeover and a changed moniker:
"The memo also acknowledges that it has encountered organizations and individuals who want to work with (the) group but "can only do so if [ACORN changes] its name." "(W)e should probably think through this problem carefully and figure out what it all means for our ability to survive and thrive without losing a lot of ground over the next year or two," the memo reads." By "ground" we can assume the document means the mountains of cash from which Congress recently disconnected the community agitating group. The memo mentioned was discovered in a treasure-trove of information most likely dumped in anticipation of California Attorney General Jerry Brown's half-hearted investigation of the controversial group:
"The document was found in (a) Dumpster outside of an ACORN office in San Diego, a House Republican aide said. Derrick Roach, an unsuccessful Republican candidate for statehouse in California, took thousands of documents last week from the trash outside the office. An ACORN spokesman confirmed the veracity of the document." To paraphrase Shakespeare, An ACORN by any other name would smell just as nutty. Because the community organizers have "spent 39 years building (the) reputation and track record of ACORN, " ACORN officials write that the bad image would "blow over." It would take a mighty wind indeed to blow over the misdeeds, misappropriation of funds and malpractice perpetrated by this bizarre conglomeration of street hustlers, con artists and thugs. In the spirit of comity, we would like to offer the following list of new names for Obama's former client-company to consider:
1.) Votes ‘R' Us
2.) Pimps, Prostitutes and Beyond
3.) Community Organizing, Money Management, Investment & Embezzlement Services (COMMIES)
4.) Squatters for Hope & Change
5.) Bertha & Wade's Excellent Adventure
6.) Taxes? We Don't Pay No Stinking Taxes!
7.) H & R Broke
8.) One Man-One Hundred Votes
9.) Democrat Party Junior Auxiliary
10.) Committee to Re-Elect the President II (CREEP II.).

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