The Art of Politically Correct Apology by Bill Maher

(This article first appeared at The American Thinker on 8/25/2009 with some editing.)
Self-proclaimed apatheist Bill Maher uses a number of Cronkite-media formats to disseminate his nihilistic, self-proclaimed “pro-death” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Maher fulminations, including a blog at The Huffington Post. The style of composition is closer to stand-up monologue than reasoned argument, generally providing ad hominem attacks on those Maher disagrees with, rather than substantive rebuttals to their positions.
Mr. Bill’s latest jeremiad comes in defense of the Obama administration’s Magical Mea Culpa Tour. Apparently not recognizing the unfortunate pun, Maher titled his rant “New Rule: No Shame in Being the Sorry Party.” http://68.142.200.12/us.f397.mail.yahoo.com/ya/securedownload?clean=0&fid=Inbox&mid=1_5645_ADNqv9EAAXF8So8m4w0IEB3FArE&pid=2&tnef=&prefFilename=Bill+Maher+New+Rule+No+Shame+in+Being+the+Sorry+Party.htm&cred=kjP59ws76PBhRN2KilMbaO1zhqOvFrDGQC18_KWNRW_NcclnspxbKmMb3KYkyMuUIqOBwXkja44dvHdYD6T7HsA_b9oGWnkTVlvtdje.tacQ&ts=1251041037&partner=ymail&sig=kJqODlZE80BvXzWFooAY2Q-- While we are quick to agree with his assessment of the Democrats as one sorry party, we can respectfully disagree with his failure to recognize the shamefulness of the current administration’s default position of apologia.
Commencing with the straw-man slam, as liberals often do, Maher dismisses 3 prominent conservative figures who have rejected the notion of Obama as America’s Designated Expiator as somehow “empty”: Mitt Romney (empty suit), Karl Rove (empty heart) and Sarah Palin (empty head). For the sake of economy, Maher might more easily have listed his choice for President in 2008 as the Poster Pol for Emptiness. The only thing keeping Obama’s suit from being completely empty is the stash of IOU’s filling his pockets from the UAW http://thehill.com/david-keene/obama-uaw-theft-payoff-2009-05-11.html , the Service Union Employees International Union , Acorn http://backyardconservative.blogspot.com/2009/07/acorn-blago-obama-seiu.html and the Trial lawyers http://www.abajournal.com/news/trial_lawyers_shift_from_edwards_to_obama/http://www.abajournal.com/news/trial_lawyers_shift_from_edwards_to_obama/ of America, just to name a few of the special interests that have gotten into Barry’s pockets.
From listening to previous Maher-speak, I realize he might really believe that Karl Rove has an emptier heart than America’s leading proponent of partial birth abortion http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/04/01/AR2008040102197.html and Death Panels http://forums.hannity.com/showthread.php?p=59606591. But no one with an ounce of sense would. And has PETA and NORML board member Maher never heard Bumbling Barack when he is disconnected from his Teleprompter-his head appears to be every bit as empty as his resume, his college record and his list of achievements prior to stealing the 2008 election.
Barack Obama’s emptiness is so complete that Buddhist monks are re-composing the Buddha-dharma to include a photograph of B.O. next to the term sunyata. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C5%9A%C5%ABnyat%C4%81
Maher goes on to confuse the conservative revulsion at leading with America’s collective chin with the belief that our nation is perfect. Earth to Bill: the Preamble to the U.S. Constitution starts with the line: “In order to form a more perfect union” in order to offer a prescription for our constant striving. But the star of Pizza Man http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/pizza_man / and Ratboy http://www.fast-rewind.com/ratboy.htm
insists that
“One of the things that makes Republicans furious about our current president is their idea that Obama is always apologizing for America's biggest mistakes.”
Since B.O.’s election to the office of what Barry must have thought was the “Penitent of the United States,” that whole scale of “America’s biggest mistakes” needs to be re-examined. Biggest deficit? Worst legislation? Worst Cabinet? Worst first-pitch? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRGK3QfcEqw
Maher suggests a list of America’s greatest foibles that would include slavery, “the Indians,” Japanese internment camps and the possibility that “we tortured the wrong guy at Guantanamo.” Americans are indeed quite sorry that the Democrats fought so long to keep the institution of slavery intact and we agree that Franklin Delano Roosevelt made one of his myriad critical mistakes in setting up the Japanese internment camps. But aren’t the amends provided by Affirmative Action supposed to mean that white Americans can quit having to say we’re sorry? And Japanese-Americans http://library.thinkquest.org/20619/Japanese.html seem to have adjusted quite well after being released from FDR’s Folly: the average Japanese-American now earns about 45% more than the average American, for starters. Feel free to check the www.500nations.com website for the skinny on that casinos-for-tepees deal the American Indians landed as amends.
But Bill thinks conservatives are intractable.
“Conservatives think apologizing is a sign of weakness. It's what liberal pussies do, when they're not busy driving electric cars and feeling empathy.”
Not really Mr. Maher. Conservatives believe that one apologizes, makes amends and moves on. And we think self-flagellating is what you liberals do when your’re not fixing elections http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122644940271419147.html, de-stabilizing our military or engaging in sodomy.
But the cockamamie PC comic reveals the full inanity of the liberal position with his proposed model for how the apology process should work. And where does he look but to those avatars of morality in Rwanda:
In Rwanda, after a genocide that killed a million people, they set up special courts where people stood up and said, "Hey, sorry I macheted your entire family. My bad." And believe it or not, in most cases, that was enough. That's the power of an apology.
Like the rest of the chemically-induced fantasy in Mr. Maher’s cerebral landscape, this is purely blather. Of course Americans are sorry for those who suffered through slavery, internment, and being conquered. That remorse has been replayed ad infinitum and is the preface to most every political speech uttered in the United States to this day. The problem with apologies from America is that those on the receiving end refuse to accept them and would prefer cash and gifts instead. Oops, my bad. Sorry, Bill.