Wednesday, January 21, 2009


I have modestly revised Max Ehrmann’s poem, Desiderata (1927), as celebrated in the 60’s to suit The Supposedly Annointed One:

Go inconspicuously amid the press and public & remember what peace there may be in voting “present” repeatedly. As far as possible and without revealing your true thoughts, be on friendly terms, even with dictators and terrorists, for they need friends too. Speak your truth vacuously and emptily and listen to others especially those with cash contributions to make. Avoid working people and religious people as well, for they actually believe they have souls which can be vexed. If you compare yourself with others, you will be disappointed in their earth-boundedness for there are so many of them who are lesser than you. Try to make up some achievements to mix in with your vague and grandiose plans. Keep interested in your own career, and pretend to be humble, you never know when you will need to fall back on community organizing. Exercise caution in your daily affairs: you never want to get caught actually saying something meaningful. The Republicans are full of trickery, especially that wily Moose-hunting woman. Let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons in positions of journalistic achievement continue to strive to make you look good. You need their help-there are real heroes all around you in America. Be yourself. Check with David Axelrod to find exactly what that means this week. Especially do not feign commitment. Neither be cynical about the redistribution of wealth; for in the face of all aridity and disillusionment, the welfare class needs to remain bought. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth: your Muslim education, drug use, your terrorist pals and that bit of dabbling in black liberation theology. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in the event the American people find out who you really are. But do not distress yourself with imaginings: Keith Olbermann and Chris Mathews have your back. Many fears are born of faking sincerity, remember your Harvard legal training and keep a straight face. You are a child of Affirmative Action, no less than your education and your previous job opportunities, you have a right to be President. And whether or not it is clear to you, the Chicago political machine and the stacked deck of liberal American jurisprudence will assure that things unfold as they should. Therefore be at peace with what the bitter clingers call God, whatever you conceive him to be: fork-tailed Alinskyite or Kwanza Papa. And whatever your labors & aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep a large wad of cash on hand in the event Americans won’t stay fooled. With all the glare of the spotlights and the support of the liberal intelligensia, you can still make America into the New Cuba. Be careful. The old Cuba was bankrupted by a charismatic socialist promising change.

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