Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Steal this Vote-Buy this Election!

Excuse the mixed metaphors, but in case you haven’t noticed, the forked-tongue media has its two minute offense in place and its full-court-press time. While Obama does his best Nero impression, fiddling with the details of his Election Day victory party, Joe Biden burns the Democrat party’s bridges in front of them. Flat screens across the land offer unfortunate close-ups of self-satisfied journalists cramping up from patting themselves on the back. Lefty’s across the land are offering a hand to those still attempting to jump on the Obama bandwagon, foolishly believing their own propaganda prettied-up to look like press releases. “Here you go, Chris Buckley.” Watch your step, General Powell.” When I last checked, the New York Times/MSNBC poll had Obama leading by 97% in the battleground states and the blue states were planning on skipping the election entirely and replacing it with a voice vote: (Call 1-800-Pinch, press 1 for English, 2 for Cuban, 3 for Venezuelan and 4 for an autographed photo of Michael Moore doing the Cossack dance with Sean Penn.) Keith Olbermann just reported that McCain was seen working on his concession speech and Entertainment Tonight suggests that Sarah Palin is calling Michelle Obama seeking parenting and fashion tips. Nancy Pelosi, using morse code, sent out a message in a series of blinks confirming with 100% certainty that Obama will win. Chuck Schumer took a break from causing bank collapses to lament the fact that due to the drop in oil prices he can resume using 30 weight oil to slick down his hair. He cited plate tectonics to describe the shift in voter preferences to the left as though it were not imaginary and created from whole cloth by the media and entertainment industries. And Jack Murtha took a break from the buffet long enough to reprimand his racist constituents again. Its one thing to insult your opponents, but insulting your own potential voter base is a task best reserved for the lofty rhetorical skills of Barack Obama (see: bitter clingers.) I, for one, am old enough to remember those magnificent Victory parties in 1988 and 2004 when the Barney-Francophiles poured chowder and Boston beans over themselves in celebration of the Dukakis and Kerry victories. They actually believe all that socialist fol-de-rol in Kennedyland and they believe the last sputtering gasps of the drive-by media too. And who can forget the Gorian soiree’s down in Nashville in 2000 and 2004? Oops, I’m sorry, I guess Al Gore didn’t even carry his home state, did he? Yet still the Left believes their self-generated press clippings. Just like Charlie Brown continually attempting to kick the football held by Lucy, the Democrats never really realize that it will be snatched away from them at the last minute. In the 2008 metaphor, the Democrats remain Charlie Brown and their valet media plays the part of Lucy. Only at the last minute will the victory be snatched away because only the fact of an actual vote count will force the media to report these truths:
1.) Even $2 Billion dollars in campaign contributions (many of them foreign and illegal) won’t buy the Presidency from the American people. Yet the Democrats think they have it bought.2.) No amount of misreported, inflated, carefully cooked, hack polls will prevent Main Street Americans from showing up on election day and making their votes count. We are like one great big state of Missouri out in here red-state America-we are the “Show Me” country. Yet the Democrats think they have us fooled.3.) Despite a massive, full-time, year- round, organized voter fraud effort by the Democrats and specifically the Obama campaign via Acorn won’t generate enough Chicago-style votes to steal this election. Yet the Democrats think they have it stolen.4.) While the American public hasn’t been able to access much information about Obama’s radical past or his incredibly poor choice of friends and associates, we do know when we are being talked down to, stabbed in the back or being subjected to a dog and pony show. Yet the Democrats think they are better than us. I guess it boils down to a televison sitcom metaphor. Barack Obama is Oliver Wendell Douglas, an Ivy League educated lawyer who has come down to get a taste of living in Hooterville. Oliver’s prominent but useless educational background and lack of common sense leave him constantly out-smarted by the locals, especially Mr. Haney. Obama is as out of place in Main Street America as Oliver was in Hooterville. But let’s give The Messiah credit,at least he could probably figure how to register Arnold Ziffel (an actual hog) to vote.

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